17 November 2027
Wednesday. Kev let slip today that there are cameras on my dunny. Every corner. A gamesmaster watches every group, the whole hour, from a little room out the back. I said, so somebody has been watching my dunny all this time, and not one of them asked for my autograph?
There’s also a panic button inside. Press it, and someone comes and lets you out, straight away, no questions. I was horrified. Why would anybody want to leave? Kev says some people just need to. Feeling poorly, needing the real loo, that sort of thing. I suppose that’s fair. Even a dunny has its limits.
I had a go at the button after hours. A lovely young person came and opened the door at once, looked at me, looked at Bev, and asked me to leave the axe outside. Very professional.
Kev says nobody shares a session with strangers, either. Your group, your dunny, your hour. Like a private screening, only more rustic.
Smoko has been appointed head of security. He is mostly asleep. That is his strategy.
— Huge Axeman
