17 January 2023
Tuesday. School holidays, and the house tour is crawling with small fry. Fans of the future. I signed a lot of hats.
The management has rules about the little ones, which I respect, because I didn’t have to write them. Nine and up is best, they reckon. Seven- and eight-year-olds can come along with the family, so long as a grown-up who’s paying is in the dunny with them. I watched closely. The grown-ups were very much in the dunny with them.
One little girl told Kev my dunny was spooky. Spooky! I’ll have her know it is rustic. There’s the light going golden through the cracks, the cicadas, a bit of a rustle outside, and a fella whistling “Waltzing Matilda” out by the woodpile.
That fella is me. I am a beautiful whistler. Some people have used the word “tuneless”. Critics, mostly, and one emu.
By the end she was laughing so hard she forgot to be scared, which is the correct response to the Axeman. Her dad, on the other hand, held on to the door handle the whole hour. Some people just aren’t outback people.
— Huge Axeman
